On my mind

June 2, 2009. It was a day like any other. I went to work. I got a haircut. I got a phone call.

June 2, 2009. It was not like any other day.

My life changed. It was shocking, like jumping into ice water, the wind knocked out of you, struggling to breathe. It’s hard to believe it’s been five years since I got the phone call telling me Dan was gone. I remember it like it was yesterday. The disbelief, the anger, confusion. The resignation, convincing myself it was real. Bawling into my dad’s shoulder.

I don’t know where I’d be now if Dan had not died. I can’t even begin to imagine. I know that I’m a completely different person now because of it. It amazes me how God can use every situation to shape you into the person he designed you to be.

I’m grateful for the time I had with Dan. The friendship, the budding romance, the laughter and stories. It’s not easy. I’m a stronger person now.

It’s funny, I pulled up the “Dan’s Stuff” folder in my iTunes. It breaks my heart and makes me smile at the same time when I look through the song titles on the Jameson playlist: Look at you girl, history in the making, girl in red, a love like that… It makes me chuckle remembering how much of a sappy romantic he was. I treasure those memories. Each song has its own story.

I’m so thankful for my friends and family, right by my side the past five years, along this journey, helping me grow.

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You’re always in my heart, you’re always on my mind. When it all becomes too much, you’re never far behind. There’s no one that comes close to you, could ever take your place. ‘Cause only you can love me this way. –Keith Urban

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